the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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