I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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