you didnt know i had herpes?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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