then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize