can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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