yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
