I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
