ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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