East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
