Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
