You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
