just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
