I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I will die if light touches me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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