JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
