I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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