they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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