I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize