i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
