honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
