I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
