you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
