At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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