Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
