I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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