his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
