I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
