i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
where am i from again
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
