Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
