very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize