You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize