im six kinds of drunk right now
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
