I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize