Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize