Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
