The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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