I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize