You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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