i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
