I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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