so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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