Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have fence marks all over my body
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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