Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.