The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee