Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
