i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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