Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
