Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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