Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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