I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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