i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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