I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
