i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize