I don't remember. Are we still dating?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
