they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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