my soul wont recognize me after tonight
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
