i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
