We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
