Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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